


baby just don't move

by amajikiri



Series: if only you liked me (if only you loved me) [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Cuddling, First Love, M/M, Making Out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:55:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21835543
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amajikiri/pseuds/amajikiri
Summary: “Kiss me.”“B-but I am?” Jisung suddenly feels shy under Chenle’s gaze, which crushes any confidence Jisung had in the situation.Chenle suddenly places one hand to cup Jisung’s cheek, the other coming to wrap around his shoulder and sliding up into his hair. Chenle’s eyes flicker downwards and Jisung can’t stop staring.“You aren’t doing it right.” Chenle mumbles, his thumb running over Jisung’s lips.Jisung can only manage two words, “How then?”alternatively; chenji make out for the first time
Relationships: Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Series: if only you liked me (if only you loved me) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1187975
Comments: 13
Kudos: 368





	baby just don't move

**Author's Note:**

> this is a short fic that i wrote instead of studying for finals !! it can be read as (1) a sweet one shot for chenji or (2) as an epilogue to my chenji fic titled [my first & last](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14427753/chapters/33323235) . either way, i hope you like it!!

_your lips are moving yeah_

_i can't find a single flaw yeah_

_i want to pull_

_a little bit closer, a little bit closer_

_i don’t know where i’m staring oh_

_just look at me now_

✰✰✰

It feels so sureal, even weeks after Jisung accidentally called Chenle his boyfriend in front of _everyone_ and even more surprisingly, Chenle reciprocate his feelings. Though in hindsight, it isn’t that surprising at all. Donghyuck and Jaemin told Jisung they’ve known for _months_ . Apparently everyone knew that Chenle liked Jisung for months, some of them even _years -_ Renjun’s face was so all knowing when he told them that Jisung wanted to hit him in frustration – everyone except Jisung that is.

Regardless, Jisung doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to this. (And maybe he doesn’t want to.)

It’s the last week of summer and the sun is at an all time high, pouring heat across their backs like liquid fire and the air smelled faintly like the rain from the days prior. They’re about to head home from a day in the park, spent feeding ducks and petting Goku (the neighborhood cat that lives with a nice grandma who owns the flower shop down the street) and taking turns staying completely still so Renjun could draw them. Instead of going to the movies with Jeno and Donghyuck (Chenle told Jisung that Jeno and Donghyuck were really just gonna go make out in the back of the theatre) or go shopping with Jaemin and Renjun (Jisung is sadly broke), Jisung and Chenle buys popsicles and decide to head to Chenle’s house. 

It’s still surreal and Jisung still blushes like the very first time when Chenle reaches out for his hand. They’ve held hands hundreds of times, but the implication of Chenle’s bright smile and soft eyes make this different: Chenle and Jisung are _dating_. 

“Are you ever gonna stop turning red?” Chenle asks as they walk into the convenience store near his house, hands still interlocked. Chenle doesn’t hesitate to make a b-line for the freezers.

Jisung pokes Chenle’s cheek, flustered. “Shut up.” 

“Seriously, you get so shy no matter what we do.” Chenle comes to a halt when they reach the ice cream isle, turning to face Jisung. “Should I stop holding your hand?” 

He drops Jisung’s hand and even though Jisung knows Chenle is joking, his palm still feels empty. 

“What? No give it back!” 

“Why are you talking about my hand like it’s yours?”

“Because it is!” Jisung grabs Chenle’s hands, both of them. “Lele, _all_ of you is mine.” 

“G–gross!” Chenle says, but he seems to find Jisung’s answer satisfactory. He turns the other way, shifting attention to the popsicles as if they’re the most fascinating thing in the world. “You sound like Jaemin-hyung.” 

Jisung feels a little breathless, since the statement was the most ballsy thing he's said to Chenle ever, probably. Isn’t the flirting supposed to come _before_ the relationship? 

Jisung laughs, “I live with him, remember?” 

“God, they’re all so gross. Our hyungs I mean,” Chenle groans. “Like I thought just Donghyuck-hyung and Jeno-hyung were bad enough. Is it just me or is Jaemin-hyung flirting with Renjun even _more_ now.” 

“It’s definitely not just you.” Jisung says as he opens the freezer with his other hand, placing the door behind his shoulder. He hears Chenle sigh in relief at the cold air conditioning. “Jaemin-hyung flirts with everyone though.” 

“Park Jisung, you can’t seriously be that dense can you?”

“What do you mean?”

“Jaemin-hyung flirts with everyone for fun, but he flirts with Renjun for _real_. He likes him, stupid.” 

Jisung blinks blankly as he grabs a melon flavored popsicle. Chenle picks up a chocolate one with no hesitation. 

“Lele, I think you’re wrong about this one. Trust me. Jaemin is _my_ hyung afterall.” 

“Sungie, trust _me_. I can feel it.” 

“If Jaemin likes Renjun so much, why does he …” Jisung pauses, unsure of how to word his argument properly.

“Why does he what?” Chenle asks as they wait in line for the cash register. 

Jisung tilts his head, “He … does stuff with a lot of people. I think. Maybe. I mean, that’s what Donghyuck-hyung says anyways.” 

Chenle’s eyes widen in shock. “ _Jaemin-hyung_ ? _Doing_ stuff? With _lots_ of people?” 

“Well yeah,” Jisung shifts uncomfortably. 

“What do you mean stuff?” 

“Like … making out with people? Hooking up? I dunno,” Jisung bites his lip. “He always hangs out with people I don’t know and stays over and … yeah.” 

“E-ew.” Chenle says, but his cheeks are red and Jisung can guess that it’s _not_ because he’s actually grossed out. 

Jisung turns to pay for the ice cream and for once, Chenle doesn’t even put up a fight over it. He seems lost in his thoughts. 

Of course, Jisung has thought about it. He remembers Donghyuck texting him just a week ago in the middle of the night, a single nerve-racking question: ‘not it’s any of my business (but y’all are my babies so it totally is) but have u & chenle made out yet?’

Jisung had been flabbergasted and completely unable to respond. 

Chenle and Jisung have kissed a handful of times, but they’ve only been short and sweet, lingering and hesitant. Jisung has never dated _anyone_ and only kissed someone once (a girl in middle school and he immediately regretting everything because little did he know, he’s _gay_ ). To make matters worse, Chenle _has_ had a relationship. Jisung and Chenle never discussed what him and his ex did while they were dating, but Jisung is sure Donghyuck knows all about it. 

And it’s not like Jisung doesn’t want to do anything else either! He just doesn’t know _how_ . There’s been countless instances in which they _could’ve_ ; dozens of pecks that lingered too long, numerous occasions when Chenle held onto Jisung’s shirt too tightly for it to mean nothing, the soft hums that made Jisung so dizzy that he probably would have melted into Chenle entirely. 

But Jisung always stopped himself. Chenle always loosened his grip with a shy smile. The pecks were nothing but lingering.

By the time they arrive at Chenle’s house, neither of them feel very talkative. Still, out of habit, they both slip off their shoes and go up the stairs to Chenle’s bedroom. Jisung doesn’t realize he’s the one leading the way until he’s the one opening up _Chenle’s_ door. 

A couple days ago, Mr. and Mrs. Huang agreed to let Chenle move into the guest bedroom down the hall from Renjun and Chenle’s formerly shared room. In a years time, Renjun wouldn’t even be living here anymore and they were both old enough to get their own space anyways. 

When Chenle called to tell Jisung the news, he sounded so happy and the next day the two of them spent decorating the room. There were still two twin sized beds in the room (there was no where else for the second bed to go) but they used the extra bed to hold all of Chenle’ plushies and stacked his mangas neatly underneath. There was even a TV in the room and Chenle made sure to log into all his streaming services on it immediately. On Chenle’s bedside table were three framed photos. One of Chenle and Renjun when they were younger, when Chenle’s hair was still black and his cheeks still soft and he was still shorter than Renjun. The second is of all six of them, on the night of the dance show, when Jisung finally asked Chenle to be his. The last is of them from weeks ago, on the beach, arms over each other’s shoulders under the blazing sun. Even looking at the photo, Jisung can remember how happy he feels. 

When Jisung shuts the door behind him and feels Chenle pull him to the bed unpreoccupied by plushies, he realizes: they are alone. 

It’s not that Jisung and Chenle have never been alone before, of course. It’s just that, they haven’t been _alone_ alone since they started dating. Whenever they were at Jisung’s place, there would be the other kids in the building, or worse, Jaemin. Jisung’s hyung has the annoying tendency to be overbearing and since Jisung and Chenle have started dating, he’s only been a billion times worse. They’ve gone on a bunch of dates, but they were always in public spaces. Even when they were at Chenle’s, Renjun or one of his parents would always be in the house too.

But not today. And Jisung is painfully aware of it.

“Are your aunt and uncle not home?” Jisung asked as Chenle set the ice-creams on his bedside table. 

Chenle stills and Jisung watches as he bites his lip. “No, they aren’t.” 

“Oh.” 

Jisung can’t bring himself to sit down next to Chenle. Even now, standing five feet away from Chenle and his bed, seems too close. The proximity is suffocating and Jisung can feel his heartbeat in his ears. 

Chenle sighs and swings his legs onto his bed, leaning towards the wall. He pats the spot next to him. 

“Jisung, come here,” Chenle says and holds a single hand out. 

Without hesitation, Jisung walks towards him. 

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” 

Chenle’s voice is hesitant and he sounds like he would rather be doing something else. He leans over Jisung to reach for his popsicle and Jisung stops breathing for a moment, when Chenle’s face is right in front of his. 

“Do _you_ want to watch a movie?” 

“Why would I ask if I didn’t?” Chenle smiles, raising an eyebrow. “Jisung, what’s wrong with you? You’re being weird.”

Jisung bites his lip. “Nothing. Let’s watch a movie, Lele.” 

“Okay,” Chenle says easily and hands Jisung his popsicle. Chenle turns on the TV and scrolls before he settles on _Assassination Classroom_. He starts the episode without hesitation. 

But Jisung can’t focus on the TV. He can’t pay attention to Nagisa and his friends on screen, trying to kill their weird mutant teacher. His brain is completely fixated on Chenle next to him, despite not even looking at him. Jisung is hyper aware of the fact that Chenle’s head is resting on his shoulder He can’t stop thinking about how if he turned his head right this very second, he could kiss Chenle. 

“Sungie.” Chenle hands Jisung his popsicle stick, completely clean. “Put this on the table.” 

“O–okay.” Jisung says, and puts his down too. 

Chenle presses his chin against Jisung’s shoulder and pauses the episode. “Sungie, are you okay?” 

“T–totally fine. Why?” 

“You still seem … weird. Did you not want to watch this?”

“Not really, sorry Lele.” 

“It’s okay Jisungie.” Chenle says and pauses, “Did you … want to do something else?” 

Jisung turns to look at his boyfriend and realizes that Chenle’s face is entirely red and he’s clutching onto the ends of Jisung’s shirt, unable to look up. He looks so _cute_ that Jisung thinks he’ll die. Imagine that: Park Jisung, dead at the big age of 16. Cause of death? His boyfriend, Zhong Chenle, being too adorable for his heart to handle. 

“Uh … sure.” 

“Sungie, let’s cuddle.” 

“N–now?”

“Why not?” Chenle has his face shoved into Jisung’s shoulder at this point and his words are muffled. “Yah, do you not want to cuddle me?” 

“Lele, I will _always_ cuddle you.” 

“Then lay down. And turn around.” 

“What? Why do _I_ have to turn around?” 

“Because you’re the little spoon of course.” 

“But I’m taller?” 

It’s true. Jisung knows that Chenle likes being the little spoon, probably half because “Sungie, you’re like a blanket” (his words, not Jisung’s) and half because Chenle likes feeling safe. Unfortunately for the two of them, Jisung _also_ likes being the little spoon. Jisung would never admit it out loud but he feels so safe when he’s in Chenle’s arms and ever so devastatingly small. 

But because the two of them are stubborn, neither of them like to admit they prefer to be cuddled, rather than the one doing the cuddling. So they’ve silently and secretly agreed to this passive aggressive compromise. 

“ _Park Jisung_ ,” Chenle’s voice is determined and Jisung lets out a chuckle, but compiles anyways. He could never say no to Chenle. 

He lays down, back facing Chenle and reaches out for his phone to play music as Chenle wraps his arms around Jisung’s waist. Jisung can feel his boyfriend press his face into the spot between Jisung’s shoulders and slide his legs between Jisung’s. Chenle has always been touchy, but since they started dating, he’s been borderlining Jaemin level touchy, which is only semi-terrifying. Chenle will touch Jisung’s hair and pull Jisung onto his lap and hold Jisung’s hand whenever he pleases. He smiles as he does it too, as if to say, _‘You’re mine, you know?’_

Jisung settles on a soft, gentle melody. Jisung doesn’t say anything as he feels Chenle slip his hand into his own, and just smiles down at Chenle’s hands quietly. 

“Lele, your hands are so small.” 

He feels Chenle snort against his back. “Yours are just freakishly big.” 

“What? They aren’t. They’re a … normal size.” 

“Jisung, your hands have been bigger than your face since we were like, ten. I don’t think that counts as _normal_.” 

“Whatever.” 

Jisung brings Chenle’s hands up to his face and examines his fingers carefully. Chenle’s hands are milky pale, like the rest of him but there’s something so gracefully delicate about Chenle’s hands. They’re soft and dainty, not a single ridge of skin out of place. But underneath his soft skin and gentle palms are strong bones and taunt muscles, piano hands. Jisung remembers seeing Chenle play for the first time, completely enamored as he watched Chenle’s brow furrowed in concentration, his fingers sprawling across the keys as delicate as raindrops, the music as soft as flower petals. 

But as beautiful as Chenle’s hands are when he plays, they’re also the hands that pet Goku and clumsily make ramen in the middle of the night for all their friends, the hands that squish Jisung’s cheeks and pulls at Jisung’s shirt and holds Jisung’s hands. They’re _adorable_. 

“Your hands are so cute though. Like … maybe the cutest part of you.” 

Jisung’s face is red when he realizes what he says. It’s still surreal. Just a couple weeks ago, even _thinking_ something like that felt wrong, but now he can say things like this as often as he wants. He doesn’t have to love Chenle silently, not anymore.

“Is that why you’re always kissing them?” Chenle’s words are teasing, but his voice holds no bite. 

Jisung makes a flustered noise. He groans into the pillow. 

“Don’t worry, it’s cute I promise.” Chenle mumbles, his face at the back of Jisung’s neck now. 

Jisung brings their intertwined hands up to his lips, his lips just ghosting over the tops of Chenle’s knuckles. “Cute?” 

“Very,” Chenle replies, his voice strained.

Jisung opens Chenle’s palm up and presses a firm kiss at the center. “Very cute?” 

He doesn’t know why he feels so confident suddenly. His face is still red and his heart is still beating too fast but he _is_ Jaemin’s brother after all. His life isn’t like it used to be. There’s nothing to hide between the two of them anymore. 

_Nothing will stop being scary,_ Jisung realizes, quietly to himself as he continues pressing kisses all over Chenle’s palms, then softly on his wrist, then up his arm. _But with Chenle it doesn’t matter._

“Ji–” Chenle groans, his soft voice tickling the hairs at Jisung’s nape. “ _Sungie_ … tickles.” 

“Do you want me to stop kissing you?” Jisung mumbles, even though he knows the answer. The answer has always been so simple. 

Chenle shakes his head against Jisung’s nape, as if he doesn’t trust his own voice. 

Jisung stops anyways, waiting patiently for Chenle to speak again. He flips himself over, to face Chenle and realizes that Chenle’s eyes are squeezed shut and his cheeks are hot and red and his ears are soft and pink. His lavender hair is messy against his white pillowcase and the collar of his shirt is dipped in from where he’s laying on the bed. Chenle looks like a kitten mid-sneeze and is so pretty that it breaks Jisung’s heart a little.

“I don’t want you to stop kissing me.” Chenle says finally, his eyes unopening, “But maybe have better aim?” 

Jisung can’t help but laugh at his boyfriend’s choice of words. It’s funny, the scenarios that Chenle can handle with perfect confidence and the ones that have him curling up like Goku in the cold. In a room full of people, Chenle doesn’t mind swinging Jisung’s hand in his, as if to say, _‘Hey, he’s mine!’_ Outside in broad daylight, he’ll pull Jisung onto his lap with the goofiest smile on his face, regardless of the world. Even in front of their hyungs, Chenle doesn’t care and will pull him in for soft kisses. But it’s here, in his own bed and on his own sheets that Chenle is unable to look Jisung in the eye, much less ask for a kiss. 

It’s cute and Jisung likes it so much, because he likes everything about Chenle. 

(But at the same time, he really _is_ Jaemin’s little brother after all; he can’t help but tease.)

“Like here?” Jisung asks, pressing a warm kiss against Chenle’s red cheek. 

Chenle groans, “Since when were you this annoying?” 

Jisung shrugs, smiling. Sometimes, Jisung forgets that their whole relationship isn’t just some extended favor that Chenle is offering him. Sometimes, Jisung forgets that Chenle is his just as much as he is Chenle’s. Sometimes, Jisung forgets that he was Chenle’s first love too. 

So of course when he sees Chenle get flustered over something as miniscule as a kiss placed on his hand, Jisung can’t help it.

“Since when were you this easily flustered?” Jisung bites back.

Chenle finally opens his eyes, clear like cloudless skies and sweet like honey. He’s pouting, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. 

“Sungie, are you really gonna make me ask?” 

Jisung leans in again and Chenle’s eyes flutter close. Instead of giving Chenle the kiss he was probably expecting, Jisung stops midway to kiss Chenle’s nose.

“Was that a good aim?” 

“Sungie!” 

“What?”

Chenle looks him square in the eye, defiant and firm, as if he’s trying to size Jisung up. It’s funny, considering how tiny he feels in Jisung’s arms. Chenle’s blush has crept to the tips of his ears and Jisung is sure his has too.

“Kiss me.”

“B-but I am?” Jisung suddenly feels shy under Chenle’s gaze, which crushes any confidence Jisung had in the situation. 

Chenle suddenly places one hand to cup Jisung’s cheek, the other coming to wrap around his shoulder and sliding up into his hair. Chenle’s eyes flicker downwards and Jisung can’t stop staring. 

“You aren’t doing it right.” Chenle mumbles, his thumb running over Jisung’s lips. 

Jisung can only manage two words, “How then?”

 _Do you want me to kiss you here?_ Jisung wants to ask as he runs a gentle finger down Chenle's cheek, trailing down to his adam's apple. _Or here or here?_

But he can’t, the words are stuck in his throat as Chenle pushes him down against the mattress, flat on his back, so quickly that Jisung can barely comprehend the sheets beneath him. 

“Like this.” 

All of their composure seems to collapse, crushed by the sheer force of Chenle’s chest falling on Jisung’s. Chenle presses his mouth against Jisung’s so hard that it hurts, as if he was waiting for too long. His other hand slips to cup Jisung’s other cheek and Jisung’s brain short-circuits. His mind feels fuzzy and he can’t process what’s happening entirely, only focusing on small aspects of the situation at once: the way Chenle’s mouth forms around his, the way Chenle’s pretty hands are cupping his cheek, the way Chenle’s eyelashes feel as they flutter against his. Every second that goes by, Jisung melts more and more and more, until he’s basically a puddle underneath Chenle. But Chenle holds him up, he holds Jisung’s face in his small hands like he’s the universe, he moves his lips against Jisung’s as if Jisung is the best thing he’s ever tasted, he loves Jisung as if there’s nobody else in the world to _love_. 

And when Chenle pulls away, Jisung can’t even bring himself to open his eyes. He knows his boyfriend will be staring down at him. 

“Was it okay?” Chenle’s voice is quiet and croaky and _oh_ … Jisung wants to hear it again and again. Jisung opens his eyes. 

Chenle still looks entirely composed and normal, his hair in place, his cheeks only a little pink now, but his lips are puffy and red and begging to be kissed. He looks ethereal and unreal and completely too perfect to put into words. Jisung isn’t particularly sappy or emotionally in touch but when he sees Chenle like this - eyes wide, cheeks rosy, lips red - all he wants to do is write poetry like Donghyuck does for Jeno, or create paintings like Renjun does. He wishes there was a way to capture how exquisite Chenle looks. He wishes there were words to explain how much Jisung is in love with him. But Chenle quite literally takes Jisung’s breath away and he can’t bring himself to speak any words at all. 

_You’re so beautiful,_ Jisung wants to say. _You’re the most beautiful person in the world and I love you more than anything._

“Yes,” He says instead, mumbling as Chenle’s hand runs over his waist. “Very okay.” 

“C-could I do it again?” Chenle asks, his other hand playing with Jisung’s ear. 

Jisung tilts his head, genuinely confused, “Do you even have to ask?”

Chenle grins and leans down again, this time one hand still rubbing circles at Jisung’s waist. His lips are softer this time, less impatient and much more gentle. Chenle carefully moves his mouth against Jisung’s, strokes his ears and his hair and his cheeks, whispers sweet nothings against Jisung’s mouth. 

“I love you,” Chenle says sweetly, when he pulls away to breathe. “I love you more than everything in the whole wide universe.” 

“Everything?” Jisung asks.

Chenle kisses his lips again, this time his tongue slipping out to delicately run against Jisung’s bottom lip. If he had been melting before, Jisung is completely reduced to a puddle now. His fingertips go numb and his body is completely slack underneath Chenle. 

“I love you more than chocolate milk,” Chenle insists, breathing the words so tenderly against Jisung’s mouth that it feels like the words are for him and him alone, as if nobody else in the universe will ever be able to see into the space between them now. “I love you more than ramen and anime episodes and flowers and cute, chubby cats and the sun and stars. In this universe, you were the first thing I’ve ever loved and you’ll be the last. Park Jisung, I’m so infatuated with you, don’t you know that?” 

Jisung is red and he’s suddenly aware that he’s shaking, blinking rapidly as he tries not to cry.

Chenle notices too, running his thumb over Jisung’s cheek, brushing his leaking tears away. He smiles. “Oh baby, don’t cry.” 

Jisung smiles crookedly, sniffling. “Won’t you kiss it better?” 

Chenle pouts, pecking him on the cheek. “Yah, Park Jisung! I just gave you that _amazing_ , sappy speech about how much I love you and you’re already demanding something in return? Where are your manners?”

“I love you most in the world,” Jisung says, simple.

His words are simple but Jisung loves that Chenle doesn’t need him to say a long sappy speech. Chenle seems to understand Jisung without words at all.

“In just the world?” Chenle teases, his fingers combing through Jisung’s blue hair. 

Jisung groans, “The universe … every alternative timeline ever … _everything_! I love you more than anything and everything.” 

Chenle hums, his cheeks pink but his eyes bright. _He seems comfortable like this_ , Jisung realizes. Chenle is half on Jisung, his lips puffy from kisses and his hair messy from cuddles. Where else in the world would either of them rather be? 

“Is that better?” Jisung asks. 

Chenle hums, already leaning down. “Better.” 

And Chenle is kissing him again, this time soft and gentle but _determined_ . It’s so comfortable and easy to kiss Chenle like this, languid and relaxed; Jisung can’t even remember why he was ever afraid of this. It feels like _fate_.

(Still, Jisung is nervous. Even if things are destined, it’s still scary.) 

Chenle is moving quicker and quicker, his mouth soft above Jisung’s but impatient. Chenle’s hands moved to Jisung’s shoulders, pulling him closer and closer. His left leg is pressed in between Jisung’s and he’s holding Jisung in. He bites Jisung’s bottom lip suddenly, pulling away when Jisung lets out an embarrassingly loud noise. 

He’s smiling teasingly, but his eyes are glazed over with something completely foreign to Jisung. Even after all this time, he’s still discovering new sides of Chenle. 

“Am I gonna have to do _everything_?” Chenle asks.

Jisung barely is able to speak. “I - well, I mean - Lele-” 

“ _Jisung_ ,” Chenle says firmly as he grabs Jisung’s hands, which had just been nervously fluttering at his sides. “We’re dating. And making out. You can touch me, you know?” 

Jisung blinks rapidly, unsure of what to say. “I didn’t want to do anything wrong.” 

Chenle laughs, throwing his head back. He’s smiling down at Jisung, his face warm and bright. 

“Sungie, you’re such a moron sometimes,” Chenle giggles.

“Hey! I am _not_.” 

“What would you do wrong?” Chenle asks, lacing their fingers and placing their hands on either side of Jisung’s head. “Do you honestly think I’d ever be able to say no to you?” 

_Oh_ , Jisung thinks, rather stupidly. _I forget that Lele has loved me for forever too._

Jisung clutches Chenle’s hands, like a whispered secret, hoping Chenle will understand his feelings better than words would be able to express. All his previous confidence has been drained out of him and his brain is clouded by Chenle’s kisses. 

“Aren’t you scared though?” 

“Yes,” Chenle says, after some thought. He’s pouting, his eyes dazed. 

(Maybe Chenle is just as enamored as Jisung is. Maybe.) 

“But with you, it doesn’t matter.” 

Jisung smiles, suddenly, twisting their bodies until Chenle is entirely on top of him, hands still laced together. Chenle seems surprised for a second, but Jisung swallows his anxiety and doesn’t give his boyfriend any time to react. He leans up to catch Chenle’s mouth mid-word. 

Chenle seems to liquify into a softer, muddled version of himself the second Jisung kisses him. He drops nearly all his weight on Jisung, fingers slipping out of Jisung’s grip and his shoulders they’re _falling and falling and falling_. 

“Lele,” Jisung says. “Let’s flip over.” 

“Why?” 

Jisung doesn’t answer, simply pushing Chenle gently off of him and climbing on top of his boyfriend, grinning. 

“You said you’d never be able to say no to me.” 

“And I wasn’t lying,” Chenle replies, laughing as Jisung scrunches his nose at him. 

Jisung holds Chenle’s face in his hands as he kisses him. He presses his mouth against Chenle’s as carefully as he can but when Chenle grips his shirt, he loses all self-control. Jisung opens his mouth against Chenle’s, letting his boyfriend do whatever he pleases. There’s a nervousness to the way Chenle bites Jisung’s bottom lip, as if he had forgotten that it wasn’t his own. There’s an anxiety to the way that Chenle’s hands can’t stay still and is moving from Jisung’s waist to his back to his shoulders. 

_I’m nervous too_ , Chenle seems to say. _But I love you anyways._

Because with Chenle, it’s always felt like _fate_ . When Chenle walked into their second grade classroom and nervously greeted their class and sat down next to Jisung, it felt like fate. When Chenle held Jisung’s hand for the first time and kissed him chastely on his lip when they were kids, a memory Jisung would later convince himself was a dream, it felt like fate. When Jisung promised himself to Chenle in middle school, it felt like fate. When Jisung had dreams about holding Chenle’s hand against summer grass and kissing him under the warm honey sun, it felt like fate. When Jisung and Chenle ran through the streets at night in the rain, moonlight and streetlights soaking them, it felt like fate. When blue roses were crushed between them, it felt like _fate_.

Maybe, just _maybe_ , this is fate. 

Jisung has never believed in the idea of destiny or the notion that everything happens for a reason. Being put in the same room as Jaemin in their orphanage felt like a miracle. Watching a dance group busking one winter day when he was ten and discovering his passion for dancing felt like a coincidence. But when Chenle is laughing at him with his purple hair a mess against his pillowcase, when he’s smiling against their tender kisses, when Chenle whispers, _“I love you so much, Sungie”_ \- Jisung reconsiders. 

Because there’s nothing else to explain this magic but fate. 

**Author's Note:**

> don't forget to leave kudos and comments !! you can find me on [cc](https://curiouscat.me/amijikiri) and on [twitter](https://twitter.com/jaemswink) !!!!


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